Sunday, April 12, 2009

an anxious heart

so i know i probably should blog about my easter weekend like everyone else...but I'm so behind, the bunny blog will just have to wait a few days because I have some interesting updates for you all! For instance this next story is a prime example how awesome the Lord works!

For my job, since I'm in still in training to eventually get my Early Intervention Specialist Certification, I have to keep a journal so its a lot like a "work blog." I can write about my observations, or my feelings, or what I'm learning or what I'm not learning...pretty much just write about anything that deals with the job at least once a week for the next 6 months. So, after I finished writing my journal entry for last week something really cool happened and i felt like I should share it... so heres my "work blog" if you will:

[Side note: My job is to coordinate early childhood intervention services for babies, meaning i'm in charge of scheduling the developmental specialist, the physical therapist, the speech therapist, the nutritionist, the occupational therapist etc.]
Today is Friday, and I received my first paycheck and my first phone call from a parent asking to reschedule their appointment for their Initial Family Service Plan (IFSP). I thought I handled the phone call really well, until I hung up and I knew how to call the rest of the team members letting them know we needed to reschedule. All of a sudden I started to get really nervous, knowing I didn't have anyone's phone numbers yet, I didn't know how to do that little voice mail trick where you can call everyone at the same time leaving just one message and the fact that i'm sitting in a cubicle and really embarrassed to have to make my first phone call in front of all the other "experienced" service coordinators listening to my every word. So I thought to make things easier I would write down exactly what I was going to say:

"Hey guys, this is amber, and I just got a call from Ella's mom, explaining she had just received the IFSP consent form in the mail and didn't realize we had scheduled for this Tuesday, April 7th at noon...she had thought it was on Monday at noon and was wondering if we could all reschedule any other day and time that week. I'm sure we will just talk about this at team meeting on Monday but just wanted to go ahead and give you guys a heads up, thanks"

After taking 10 minutes to figure out my first voicemail message as a team service coordinator... I was about to call and then realized that I didnt have phone numbers to call. So trying to waste more time, getting more and more nervous about this small phone call, I asked another service coordinator if I should even bother calling or just waiting till Monday to talk to everyone at our meeting. Of course she told me the best thing to do would be to call just to be on the safe side. (ugh) So then i suddenly remembered that I had gotten an email with everyone's phone numbers so I quickly pulled that up and then had to write the numbers down because the printer wasn't working...

Now after doing all this, getting all worked phone rings again and its Ella's mom, letting me know she wanted to go ahead and keep the appointment and it wasn't necessary to reschedule.

Blah... all that getting nervous for nothing. i think the lord was just testing me... no need for an anxious heart.

Okay for this to really mean anything, you must know some back ground information. Lately, I have been trying to pick one verse a week to meditate on, memorize etc. And my verse for the week I wrote this blog was : "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there is any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way." - Psalm 139:23-24.

Even though this was the verse I was studying all week, It didnt even hit me that the Lord was indeed showing me my own heart just like I had been asking him to until I started typing those last 5 words of my work blog. I totally felt the Lord's presence right at that moment. It was incredible.

So i know this was a really long post with no pictures... but I just had to share it. It was like my very own jesus moment! =)

Here are a couple of pictures of my very own cubicle haha:

God is good all the time. All the time God is good.


  1. Amen! Glad you shared that with us. I love that's easy to get caught up in anxiety and you handled it well. I hope all your coworkers see Jesus in you the way we do!

  2. you are right Amber. so glad the Lord showed himself to you so evidently that day!
    miss you!