Monday, March 19, 2012

its not even noon.

hudson slept till 9 this morning, he went to sleep at 7 on the dot last night. its 11:30 and he's already napping again. normallly i wouldn't let him go down for nap this late in the morning but he has his well check today at 2 so he'll have to miss that afternoon nap all in all it should work out pretty well. so like i said, hudson has his 15 month well check today, which means yesterday was the 18th...he turned 15 months. i didnt even remember. the first "month" birthday i missed. i think ive said this before, but well checks always make me nervous. Is he doing everything he's suppose to be doing? Am i crossing every T and dotting every I with his fragile little development skills. Are we choosing to "discipline" right?!  Will i look like a terrible parent because I'm having to sneak my child veggies bc he hates them all...yes even sweet potatoes he wont touch now! Like i said..well checks are nerve racking! So back to this morning, during the little over 2 hours hudson that hudson embraced the world today he managed to be unhappy about 90% of the time. he did make a memory though with earning his first scraped knee...of course he wont keep the band aid on it so his battle wounds are open for all to see and more germs to creep in. what can you do. he scraped his knee while i was outside cleaning the car out from our road trip this weekend. my car is a total mess...not so much anymore but it really is in desperate need of a good professional cleaning. hint hint. you know if any of you are professional car cleaners and want to clean my car for free...its all yours! =) this morning i was able to have my quiet time before even getting out of bed, i think thats how it should be but i usually do it during hudson's morning nap. I woke with a lot of negative feelings and thoughts...not a great way to start the day at all. I started journaling/talking to the lord and just telling him exactly what i was feeling..."anxious, annoyed, frustrated, tired, inpatient, ungrateful, hopeless..." yah i like said...not a great feeling to wake up to. there really wasn't anything particular that was making me feel this way...i just was. kinda hard to explain. it was clear my "joy" had taking the day off. It still amazes me how our father  works...I didnt want to really admit these feelings, and instead i was just going to try and suppress them in hopes they would just disappear. but i like i said i chose to make them known, asking the Lord to forgive me for feeling this way, i wanted to rejoice in today not wallow in it.  bc really, where does wallowing in our sorrows get us? Answer: no where, just more wallowing and then no one wants to be your friend because no one likes to be around a wallower. so where was i? oh yes... asking the lord for forgiveness for waking up a bad mood betty and wallowing. wanna know something? he forgave me. =) and he brought me joy. and joy's friends peace & comfort too. Duet. 2:7 says  "i have blessed you for the work of your hands, and i have been there with you through the have lacked nothing."

what a morning so far...and its not even noon.

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