my first mommy scare

i saw the doctor yesterday for what im hoping will be my last pregnancy check up. i didnt see my regular doctor, but another doctor who could possibly deliver me if my doctor isn't on call when the time comes. yesterday was a weird day, i didnt feel good at all. i wasn't very hungry, felt some nausea, my stomach hurt and i kept getting that feverish feeling...you know chills but also sweating. I had been at my companys annual christmas party (haha that made me laugh, doesn't that sound so "grown up"..."annual christmas party?") anyway, i was at our christmas party and didnt feel well at all, i even threw up my chicken sandwich while I was there, so i decided to go to my dr. appt a lil early just in case i was getting the flu or the stomach bug. Once i got there i felt fine, wouldnt ya know?! Anyway me being sick has nothing to do with my how my visit went yesterday... i hate when i get off track like that.

so in the doctors examination room i sat & waiting for dr. bailey. 45 minutes later she finally came. She informed me that my doctor had texted (i had no idea that doctors texted each other) her and wanted her to strip my membranes if I was okay with that. Not knowing entirely what that term meant i had her explain the pros & cons of this and decided to go ahead with it. She let me know it would be painful and to have her stop if it was too much for me. I figured this would be a good time to practice my breathing techniques i had been taught and to focus on anything other than what i was feeling. I as she was slipping her gloves on I immediately started thinking about what i was going to wear to work tomorrow. i started visualizing my closet and my small "maternity" section. Sadly, but thankfully this technique actually worked. I still felt the pain and it hurt...very badly but i was able to distract myself for most of it, simply by thinking of clothes. Once she was done, she informed me I did well, showed me the bloody gloves - that i could of gone without seeing, and then gave me my first mommy scare.

As she was taking her gloves off she informed me i needed to have a sonogram. She turned to her computer and started typing. out of breath, still laying on the exam bed unable to raise up with out assistance i somehow calmly asked  "why? is something wrong?" the whole time thinking "umm could you please tell me what is going on with my lil baby besides typing on your little computer because i'm a first time mother and my husband isnt here and i'm going to freak out...is it because i havent been able to take my prenatal vitamins, or because i've had a couple of hot dogs the past 9 months ?" Still typing she informed that she was unable to feel any fluid around Hudson's head and that only a sonogram could verify how much fluid there was. Getting more scared by the second, i wasn't quiet sure how serious of an issue this was, until she told me to go wait in the waiting room and i would be called back for a sonogram as soon as possible. This really scared me because I was assuming i would just be coming back the following day for a sonogram not right this second. As i was walking to the waiting room, the Lord reminded me of his covering/protection over hudson. My fears started diminishing, i knew hudson would be fine, and that with or without a sonogram the Lord knew what was going on in my tummy and he had it all under control, however my flesh kept trying to convince me otherwise.

Got back to the sonogram room and after lots of cold gel and rubbing around on my tummy I learned quickly that Hudson was just fine. There was an average amount of fluid, he is still head down in good position and he is weighing about 7lbs 11oz. I will be 40 weeks tomorrow! We are hoping he will be here any day/hour now...but i guess he is just going to come on his own sweet time. Today I let him know that tomorrow its going to be in the 70's so he wouldn't have to worry about the cold front....so just maybe he will show up =) We will see....