right now

right now my child has been crying/screaming for the past 3 hours. in the past 3 hours i have fed him twice, burped in 4 times, changed his diaper twice, rocked him for 30 minutes, tried the paci, tried going outside, stripped him down to check his entire body, gave him a bath, put on his pjs, put him in the swing, put in in the baby carrier, checked his temperature twice, cleaned out his nose, shusshed him about 347 times and still...crying. the problem being: he will not nap even though he is sooo tired. thankfully we are 5 minutes away from 7 so surely he will be passed out at 7:30 (crossing my fingers). we have had two 30 minute naps today and both were in the car.

right now im so worried my milk is drying up. last night i pump for 20 minutes and only got half and ounce. right now im so worried my child is hungry. i would literally be in tears if i had to stop breast feeding. last night danny & i made the decision (finally) to delay all vaccinations as long as i'm breast feeding and hudson isnt in any kind of daycare setting for at least a year. so...i really want to be able to breast feed.

right now i have two loads of laundry that need to be folded. chicken tortilla soup that needs to be cooked. pictures that need to be edited for a family. student loan payment account that needs to be made. sheets that need to be washed. a living room that needs to be picked up. a dinning room table that needs to be cleared for dinner. and a quiet time with my jesus that needs to be done all in the next hour before danny gets home. im thinking thats not going to happen.

i was hoping this blog would take me five minutes to write and that it would distract me from hudsons "crying it out"...5 minutes later he is still crying. going on 3 and half hours of non stop crying. maybe he's teething?? i dunno. guess im going back to rocking...