Wednesday, February 8, 2012

in my defense.

is it a good thing or a bad thing when you have to think about other people when your blogging? typically when i sit down & start typing, i just write pretty much whatever is on my mind at that particular moment. i dont think about who's going to read it, i dont think about what others are going to think and clearly i dont spell check, grammar check or use the right punctuation half the time. i'm just typing. i started my blog for 2 reasons: 1) to keep family updated on our everyday lives & 2) for my own therapeutic reasoning. i'm journal-er (sp?) by nature, but typing is so much quicker than writing, so blogging is a hobby i have grown to love. i still journal, almost daily, but its mostly prayers or note taking from sermons.

the other day, a comment was left on my blog that really was just flat out mean, and that person knows it was pretty rude because they chose to remain "anonymous." But with all do respect, if i was going to talk to someone like that, i would probably want to remain nameless as well. the comment bothered me for about 30 minutes, until i was reminded of this "forgive them for they know not what they do..." So, i tried to see the positive of it, or where they were coming from, or how i could even learn something from it. this was the first time anyone had ever left a mean comment on my blog & so i wasn't quite sure how to handle it. and since they chose to remain "anonymous" i couldn't defend myself to them or write them back personally to discuss the matter at hand...i just had to soak in their... "meanness." so to say. but i felt like maybe i should just go ahead and address the matter at hand, in a sense.

last week was a very hard week for me. i still feel like i'm trying to recover from it emotionally. so when this "person" left a comment that made me feel like an unfit mother or as if  i'm not doing the absolute best for my son....well it hit a little to close to the heart. it was the final straw to my horrible week. And when blogging is suppose to be something that i look forward to, something that relieves the stress and not add to it, thats when i knew i needed to start paying more attention to the things i'm writing and how others might be taken offense to.

yes, danny & i have chosen a lot of "alternative" methods in how we are choosing to raise our kid(s). its obviously not something i'm trying to brag about because frankly, our methods are definitely not socially acceptable. in fact most people think were crazy for some of the decisions were making or have made. but it is all such a learning process for the both us. Neither of us were raised this way, we both grew up watching our moms fry chicken, getting a shot every 3 months & co-sleeping with our parents... so to introduce to our son a whole different way of eating, treating illnesses & sleep training is something very new to us. we're learning and yes we're making mistakes but were also seeing Gods grace in it all. My son is healthy, he is happy & he is well fed (of course lol). So yes, i blog about it. I share my new findings & experiences with my blog readers, sometimes they turn out great, sometimes they dont, its a journey and its going quiet well, so thanks for asking=)

life is pretty crazy right now with us not having our own home & having parents as your roommates. haha. not your ideal life style for a pair of newlyweds with a baby & another on the way! (and yes 3 years later i still consider us newlyweds =)! but we are blessed. i have husband who still cuddles with me every night while we watch reruns of The Office on netflix, cooks up homemade spaghetti sauce & pasta when i just flat out dont want to fix dinner, & makes sure my night stand always has twix or kit kat on it along with a bottled water. he's a keeper. he's my rock.

well, kinda got off topic there for second but its valentines day week so i thought i through a little love out to my sweetheart! ;) well, its 4:30 and i hear someone squirming from their nap ;)

7 comments:

  1. I love reading your blog, it makes me think what can I do better for my boys. I went back and read what they said, it hurt my feelings and I consider it rude that they would think that they have the galls to say that. You dont judge the way they do things so why in the world would they think to say anything to you. Keep up what you are doing and I can not wait to hear all about your family. I work with Danny and it is nice to know that there are still "good" guys out there that take care of their families. Watching you two grow into this AMAZING couple and family is an inspiration to all us. Remember that you are an AMAZING mom and wife, no one can take that from you.

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  2. phooie on them. ya know, not everyone is going to agree with what you do. heck, i am a pediatric RN, supposed to agree with the AAP...however Ellie is on an alternative vaccine schedule, she takes daily vit C and elderberry...among other things. these things, i just cant talk about at work because, gasp, that would be just flat out wrong to not give your kiddo 7 shots when they are 2 months old :/ anyway, all this rambling to say, dont let that person steal your joy as a mother. dont let them steal your prayed over decisions. god is the ultimate protector of your son, regardless or what you do/dont do. so phooie! PS - this is Ellie's mom ;)

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  3. you know i can completely relate to this in my every day-to-day life. I'm sorry, i read that comment and i couldn't believe how well you handled it. i actually told taylor "umm i would have went off on that person, amber has WAY more patience than i do" ( something im working on ) haha i think people take it as though your casting judgement on their parenting methods...at least thats what I've come across..when thats not it at all, its just different, unconventional, a little weird at times, and something new. but it doesn't make it the ONLY way, and people feel bashed. but its not your fault, its theirs for not understanding, and its not your job to make them understand either :) your a great mom...your blogs and messages help ME every day through my journey...so just remember your accomplishments ( and there are MANY ) far outweigh the criticism ... :)

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  4. so proud of you for remaining confident in what you are doing! anyone who reads your blog is of clear understanding that you ONLY WANT WHAT IS BEST for your son (both of them!). You are a great mother, a fantastic blogger, and you should be proud of what you are doing with Hudson. He is beyond blessed to have you as his mom. I have also been attacked (just on fb not on the blog) for the way we do things, and so I know that it hurts to the depths when someone makes you feel like what you are doing is in some way harmful to him. I hope that with this post and the comments below you feel encouraged and confident again in what you are doing. Way to go Mama!

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  5. Amber, I love reading your blog! We have very similar thoughts about how to raise our children and I enjoy seeing what decisions you have made along the way before I get to them. Hudson is a very lucky boy as #2 will be as well!

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  6. just wanted to say i love you sister

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  7. I read quite a few blogs, indcluding all of the Ruth clan! I really don't comment much but I wanted to say I saw that comment and it was flat out mean. It's difficult being a mother. Every mother is different and parents their children in different ways. There is nothing wrong with that. And while I may not agree with everything you do (just like you wouldn't agree with everything I do), I try to respect that each mother is being a mother in her own way. :)

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