life is such a whirl wind right now. i'm not even sure how to put it all into words without sounding whiney, ungrateful or even "unblessed." Because really i am beyond blessed...if thats even possible. if you read my blog a lot then you might have noticed how I used a lot of the same wording or same phrases to describe things. I catch myself making a habit of saying the same type of "sayings" over & over. my vocabulary isn't very extensive to say the least or maybe i just dont spend enough time thinking about what i'm going to write. Anywho, one thing i say a lot in person when things seem to be going a little south is "if its not one thing, its another!" its the pessimistic in me. i see tons of break lights and i automatically assume i'm going to be stuck in traffic for at least an hour. i avoid eating at places ive never been due to be scared of not liking anything on the menu. my phone rings and i cringe thinking " i really dont have time to talk for 30 minutes, can you just text me?!" Like i said...i'm somewhat of a pessimist.
Despite my the glass is half empty attitude, somehow the Lord has soften my heart these past few months with all the crazy unplanned changes/events that have taken place. Danny & I really are beyond the normal stress levels.... i think were in some kind of robotic state. It all started with danny going on interview after interview, taking test after test and not moving positions as quickly as he hoped. We then we learned once again we were pregnant..surprise!?! We moved in with Danny's parents in order to save up for a down payment to buy a home, hoping it would be just a couple of months. Were on month 7 now. Almost all of our belongings are in storage and the only clothes we have are for winter. Hudson has outgrown almost everything he has here. It's merely impossible to get into the storage due to how jam packed it is...its really a 3-4 person job. Did i mention that all my nursing gear & newborn stuff is in storage as well?! No breast pump, no nursing pillow, no swaddling blankets, no baby onsies, no newborn pacis, no newborn jammies, no colic calm, no bottles, no newborn bathtub, no babywise books (yikes!!)....okay i need to stop or i'll have a panic attack. I'm starting to regret not having a baby shower because now i'm having to buy things i know i have...its just stuck in our storage unit thats merely impossible to get into until its time to just take it all out at once to move. Speaking of, we've made bids/contracts on 3 different houses and all have fallen through for one random reason or another. The market is insane right now! So anyone who has ever gone through the buying a house process knows just how stressful this is in itself. With that said, were still house hunting which makes it difficult when your an hour away from the area you want to look at houses. Danny has started a new job, finally, but again...a new position, with new responsibilities doesn't come easy but i have to admit he's doing a great job & I couldn't be more proud of him.
so there you have it: pregnancy, living with parents, buying a house and starting a new job... who wouldnt be stress? Oh & one last thing...we had to give our sweet dog Murphy to a rescue westie center yesterday morning. All the stress of moving & so many changes in his little environment became way to much for him to handle. He had started growling and even biting a couple times, so it was time for him to go before baby #2 gets here. I really cant stop crying about it. so thats all the details you get! Eventually i'll dedicate a post to him once i'm not so emotional about it. =/
Had my 36 week appointment yesterday and learned that I'm dilated to a 3!! My cervix is still pretty thick and baby hasn't seemed to drop yet...so i think we still have some time before baby boy gets here! However...I was quickly reminded of the night i went to the hospital with Hudson I was only dilated to a 4! haha...so ya know never know I suppose! Baby's heart rate,movement & breathing are looking great! I go back to the specialist next week to check his growth again!
Today i'm spending time packing our hospital bags & arranging our room to bring home baby to! I cant believe in any day we will be a family of 4! Crazy! I'm so very thankful that danny's parents house is soooo "baby" friendly! Besides bringing home baby to our own home, I really cant think of a better 2nd place to come home to. They have been so gracious to us and probably are just as ready to get rid of us as we are to find our own home! haha! We all just have to keep reminding ourselves "its just a season" a very long season i might add...but still just a season!
so with all that rambling...thats our life in a nutshell and like i said "its not one thing, its definitely another." i wonder what curve ball we will get thrown today?! Good thing I married such a good hitter ;)